Finding a dream in your nightmare

I woke up this morning to discover my father's obituary in the paper. There was no mention of my sister or I or any of his many grandchildren, great grandchildren, or great great grandchildren as his survivors. It was just a casual mention as though it were an everyday occurrence. My father left us when I was thirteen. He left us in total poverty without anything to eat. My sister and I were fostered out for temporary purposes because there was no way our mother could take care of us. I remember lying on the bed crying because there was no food and hadn't been for several days. His new girlfriend and soon to be wife was pregnant with her first child. He had not divorced my mother yet. He acted very hateful toward me and he was abusive, both physically and mentally. In spite of that, both my sister and I, made numerous attempts to be family again. We were met repeatedly with total rejection. As I read the comments in the funeral home obituary, I was amazed at the numerous comments about what a wonderful person he was. This was the same man who left his family penniless, heartbroken, and separated. This was the man who beat me mercilessly. This was the man who demanded respect when he had never earned it. This was the man filled with bitterness and hate for his children. How could the two be the same person? As I often do, I went to the Lord with my dilemma. He spoke to my heart in His word. "I am the truth and the light and I will never leave you nor forsake you." I felt the warmth of His presence, taking away the pain of a relationship left unclosed. I had already forgiven my father but without closure, I was saddened by his obituary. Clarence Sewell was not the same man his current family knew and it suddenly was a blessing that they never were forced to suffer in the same manner his past family did. I am very grateful their lives and memories were full of joy. Even though ours were the opposite, the Lord has always stepped into the position of Father, Provider, Healer, Lover of our souls, Leader, Advocate and Friend. There is always  light in the darkest hours when you have a relationship with Jesus. He is our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be His name!