Once upon a time, one never heard the following compliment, "Your son has the most wonderful manners.  He never forgets to say 'please' when he asks for something and 'thank you' when he receives it" or "Your daughter was so polite at the birthday party – what a refreshing change!"

Refreshing change?  When did it become obsolete to be polite?  Who isn't teaching their children manners?

Every time someone compliments my kids, it is always accompanied by, "We think manners are important, too."

Who doesn't?  If everyone thinks manners are important and insists that they are teaching them, then which parents are the slacker parents, and for what are they eschewing manners? 

Yeah, it seems like I'm asking a whole bunch of incredulous questions, because, well… I am.  But I am honestly quite perplexed about this one.  To be fair, I haven't really ever run into tremendously rude children who snatch the food right off my fork and dance jigs on tabletops.  Actually, I'm not sure that I've had any encounters with children who had such appallingly bad manners that their parents should be drawn and quartered.

I am assured by many an elementary school teacher that there are children out there who have no manners whatsoever.  And many people older than Gen X are quick to jump on the 'In MY day, manners…' bandwagon.  But where is the evidence?

I have watched my parent friends in action and see them doing what I think is the best way to teach manners: modeling them.  I suppose I hang out with a pretty genteel crowd, but I can count on one hand the number of times I have felt like I was treated rudely, and most of those incidences stem from my short-lived stint in retail work back when I was in college.  In fact, I see more parents guiding their children into standing politely in line, teaching kids to ask for something in a clear voice (and with a please attached), and reprimanding kids who cross the line than I see parents letting their children run rough-shod around a doctor's waiting room or restaurant lobby.

I do believe that there are rude parent/kid combos out there.  And I am pretty certain that not everyone teaches their children that good manners are a sign of respect and that you treat others the way you want to be treated.  However, I am an eternal optimist and choose to believe that anyone can adopt good manners at any point in their lives, so here are my tips for instilling politeness:

• Always model good manners – even when you're frustrated.
• Practice from the beginning – every infant loves the "I'll hand you something and you hand it back" game.  Why not accept the object with "please" and  "thank you" each time?
• Remind your kids to use good manners, especially when they are going into a situation that is a little overwhelming, like a birthday party.  I always drop my kids off with the command, "Have fun and use your best pleases and thank yous!"
• Apologize when your kids catch you not being polite and rephrase.  It shows them that everyone can use good manners practice!
• Call attention to your kids when they use good manners – praise can go a long way to making good manners a habit.  If someone compliments my kids and their manners, I'll tell them when I kiss them good night so that they go to bed knowing that I am proud of them.
• Use rude behavior as a teaching moment.  If your kids are rude, let them know what they did that was unacceptable and why it is impolite.  Kids really do get it if you explain that rude behavior makes people feel like they aren't important.

So, thank you for reading this blog today --  I sincerely appreciate it and hope that you have a wonderful day – have fun and remember to use your best pleases and thank yous!